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In our last episode, Kathy, our heroine, had developed a crush on Mike after learning by e-mail that he is a millionaire doctor with his own private plane who used to play varsity football at Harvard. Her hopes were crushed when she learned that he already has a girlfriend.
As Valentine's Day approached, Kathy was still loveless and apparently doomed to spend the rest of her life answering letters sent in by irate gamblers to her online casino, when a sudden spark of hope came into her life with the arrival of a letter from Frank.
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Hi Kathy,
I really appreciate all the help you gave me with that check that got lost in the mail. I will be in Barbados on business next week and would like to meet you and take you out to dinner.
Frank
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Hey Marge,
Read this letter I got from one of our customers! The nerve of the creep! Can you believe that he thinks I would actually go out with him without ever having even met him? What does he think this is? There is a LIMIT to the customer service I am willing to provide!
Kathy
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Hey Kathy,
I just glimpsed at this guy's account file. Do you know that he has both a Platinum Mastercard and a Platinum Visa and that each has a $100,000 credit limit?
Marge
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Dear Frank,
I would love to join you for dinner.
Of course, it has to be clearly understood that this is not a "date" -- just a purely platonic meeting.
Kathy
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Dear Kathy,
I understand that and would not expect anything else. I hope that the restaurant at the Seafront Hotel will be acceptable. I am in negotiations to buy the hotel and I guess that I really should know the quality of its food and service.
Frank
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Marcie
Barbados Credit Bureau
Can you run a quick check on one of our customers? Try to find out how old he is and what is his marital status.
Kathy
WinNow Casino
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Kathy,
No problem. In fact, we have all of that in our files. He is 34 and he is single. But I am surprised that you need the info. Don't you read "Finance" magazine? They did a piece on him last week. Apparently he is buying up hotel properties throughout the world and is expected to be the next Conrad Hilton.
Marcie
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Dearest Frank,
Dinner at the Seafront would be wonderful. I hope I didn't sound too much like a prude when I insisted that it be a "platonic meeting." After all, that is the week of St. Valentine's Day so I guess that a LITTLE flirting wouldn't be completely out of line. :-)
Love,
Kathy
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Dear Kathy,
I am glad you feel that way. It is certain to make dinner more relaxing -- I won't feel that I am in just another business meeting.
This may be a case of "Coals to Newcastle," but would you enjoy going to a casino? The Seafront's Casino is having a "Monte Carlo" night for Valentine's Day -- it is by invitation only and dress is formal. Do you think that you would like it?
Frank
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Marcie,
Do you know anything about this "Monte Carlo" night at the Seafront? This whole idea of getting dressed formally just to go to a casino sounds like a real pain in the ass to me.
Kathy
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Kathy,
I can't believe that you were lucky enough to get an invitation to it! It is for the cream of international society! You'll be with millionaires, Hollywood stars and royalty! And guess what? Everyone who attends is given $1,000 in comp chips -- and you get to keep anything you win!
Marcie
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Darling Frank,
I would love to go to Monte Carlo night with you. It sounds absolutely wonderful. We very rarely get dressed formally down here and I am going to have to spend tomorrow looking for a dress. I just hope that they can have it ready in time.
All my love,
Kathy
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Dear Kathy,
I'm sorry. It was really inconsiderate of me not to take the dress problem into consideration. I have just spoken with the hotel's fashion shop and they told me they will give you a priority fitting.
Love,
Frank
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Dear Miss Kathy,
We have taken the liberty of giving you a 10 am appointment tomorrow morning to help you choose your dress for Monte Carlo night.
If there is anything else we can help you with (hat, shoes, accessories, etc.) please do not hesitate to ask. Incidentally, you will not be charged for anything you buy -- that has already been taken care of.
Sincerely,
Mister George
Shop Manager
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Dear Mom,
Do you think I should allow this guy to buy me a dress? After all, I haven't even met him yet. It may give him the idea that he has "bought and paid" for me.
Kathy
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Dear Kathy,
I am certain that he will not consider you "bought and paid for." As soon as he sees you he will know that you are a fine, well brought up, young lady. I am very proud of the way that I raised you.
Love,
Mom
PS: Don't forget to keep some condoms in your purse.
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Dear Miss Kathy,
I am SO sorry that I forgot to mention that our sister shop, Seafront Jewelry, has a modest diamond necklace waiting for you. They would appreciate it if you could stop in after your fitting to make certain that it meets your approval.
Of couse, if you don't like it, you can exchange it for anything else in their collection.
Mister George
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Dear Mister George,
Thank you, but I don't really think it is right for me to accept jewelry from a man I barely know.
Kathy
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Dear Miss Kathy,
You mean that you don't want it??? Frankly, I have never heard of anyone turning down a $35,000 necklace before!
Mister George
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Dear Mr. George,
On the other hand, I guess it would be insulting for me to refuse the necklace and I certainly don't want to appear rude. I guess I was just worried about appearing mercenary. $35,000? Is that the wholesale or retail price?
Kathy
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Dearest, darling, Frank,
I can't believe how thoughtful you are! I went to the dress shop and they treated me like royalty. I guess I shouldn't tell you this -- but the women who work there were very jealous of me! They say that they saw you when you made your last visit and that you are "gorgeous"! I hope I haven't built up your ego too much! :-)
I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to Valentine's Day and meeting with you. I know this will sound silly and overly romantic, but I have a really good feeling about this. I think the two of us were destined to meet! Do you believe that fate steps in and takes a hand to make certain that the right man and woman meet? I do and I think this proves that we are the love children of Fate.
With all my heart and love,
Kathy
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FREAK HURRICANE WHIPS BARBADOS
Bridgetown, Barbados (UPI) -- A freak, out-of-season, hurricane whipped this island paradise yesterday, shutting down all airports and causing heavy damage to much of the island.
Beach property was particularly hard hit, with many resort hotels finding themselves flooded. The Seafront Hotel, which was expected to host its annual St. Valentine's Day "Monte Carlo Night" had to cancel the event, forcing many of the world's top celebrities to change their plans.
"I can't explain it," said Sir Miles Chambers, head of the Barbados Weather Bureau. "We never have hurricanes in February. The season doesn't even start until summer. It is a shame that it had to happen when so many people were planning to come here for Valentine's Day, but I guess this was just the hand of Fate."
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