Don’t You Want a Fanta?
A blonde was using a can machine outside of her local shop. After putting in fifty pence, a coke came out of the machine. She put it on the ground, put fifty pence more into the machine, and pushes another button. Suddenly a Fanta orange came out of the machine!
She continued to do this until a man wanting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me miss, can I get myself a drink and then you can go back to whatever it is that you are doing?"
The blonde turned around and said, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
I’m That Man
Ned was down on his luck in Las Vegas. He had gambled away all his money and had to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men's room. The stall happened to be open, so he used the dime in a slot machine and hit the jackpot. He took his winnings and went to the blackjack table and turned his small winnings into ten million dollars.
Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Ned went on the lecture circuit, where he told his incredible story. He told his audiences that he was eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever found the man he would share his fortune with him. After months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and said, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the dime."
"You're not the one I'm looking for. I'm looking for the guy who left the door open!"
You Can't Lose
Two girlfriends, Britney and Tiffany, went to Vegas to play the slots. Each agreed that when her money was gone, she would go to the Casino entrance and sit on the bench to wait for her girlfriend.
Tiffany quickly lost all of her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited, and waited, and waited and waited.
After what seemed like an eternity, she saw Britney coming toward her carrying a huge sack of coins. "Hey, it looks like you hit it big Britney!." said Tiffany "Oh yeah," said Britney, "did I hit it big! I found a good machine, its way in the back. I'll show it to you-you can't lose! Every time you put a dollar in 4 quarters come out!